The Informal Psychologist Speaks Out on Winter's Most Detrimental Dating Fad: 'Sledging'
Wintertime can bring about a peculiar dating trend known as "cuffing season," where couples form temporary bonds to brave the cold. But what about those who plan to break up right after? This behavior, dubbed "sledging," is another unfortunate fad that's gaining popularity, alongside ghosting and catfishing. Sledging refers to intentionally staying in a relationship during winter just to avoid being single, only to part ways post-holidays.
A survey conducted by the dating app, Happn, revealed that approximately 75% of sledgers call it quits in November, with the remaining 25% doing so after the festive season. This trend is most prevalent among the younger generation, aged 18-25. Although breakups are challenging in any season, the heartache experienced after being sledged can be exceptionally intense.
Two primary reasons explain why sledging can magnify the torment induced by a breakup:
1. The Holiday Highs Amplify the Grief
One motivation behind sledging is to avoid uncomfortable questions about singlehood during the holiday season. Introducing a partner to family and friends around Christmas may seem like a great idea, but it can have adverse effects for those looking for a long-term connection. Research indicates that individuals who live together or are planning to marry often experience a more significant drop in happiness post-breakup, highlighting the profound impact our relationships and future expectations hold on our emotional well-being.
The festive spirit and dreams of a fresh start that accompany the new year intensify the shock and sorrow of a breakup. This abrupt shift of mood can lead to a significant decline in overall well-being. In essence, losing a beloved companion comes with the additional pain of losing a potential family and the future jointly envisioned with them. Writer Sophia Reichert poignantly captures this bitterness:
"Losing your ex's family in a breakup can incur an extra layer of grief you didn't anticipate, a jarring type of pain. In my case, I lost an amazing family, who accepted me when I felt my most vulnerable."
2. Breakups and Seasonal Affective Disorder Don't Mix Well
While sledgers might seek warmth and companionship during winter's chill, they might not realize the impact of their actions on someone battling Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD is a severe depressive disorder that sets in during fall and winter, with reduced sunlight exposure often acting as a trigger.
The symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder include fatigue, irritability, feelings of hopelessness, and difficulty focusing—all of which can worsen the emotional distress of a breakup. The timing of a separation during these months could significantly exacerbate the mental health struggles of those with SAD.
If you're experiencing SAD, practices such as getting outside for sunlight daily, socializing, eating nourishing food, engaging in mindful activities, and speaking with a mental health professional could help lessen the impact of both SAD and a breakup. It is vital to avoid harmful coping mechanisms like excessive alcohol consumption, which may intensify depression symptoms further.
Sledging may seem to offer temporary relief, but the emotional impact on the other party can be profound. Honesty, respect, and prompt communication are the keys to navigating this situation, no matter the time of year. Although it may be challenging, offering transparency prevents the additional pain stemming from poor timing or a sense of betrayal.
In the unfortunate event of being sledged, it's imperative to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself the time you need to heal. Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, and engaging activities that bring joy. Remember that every conclusion paves the way for new beginnings, and even the coldest winters can signal the arrival of sweeter summers.
Has being sledged severely impacted your mental health? Discover the impact of breakups using the science-backed Breakup Distress Scale.
[1] Mayo Clinic. (2020). Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20379226
[2] Cleveland Clinic. (2014). Vitamin D and Mood. Retrieved from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/20944-vitamin-d-and-mood
[3] NIDA. (2017). Exercise for Substance Use Disorders. Retrieved from https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/principles-drug-addiction-treatment-research-basics/principles-behavioral-treatments/exercise-physical-activity
[4] National Institute of Mental Health. (2020). Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Retrieved from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad/index.shtml
- Despite the popularity of the 'cuffing season' trend, some individuals choose to engage in 'sledging' – staying in a relationship during winter to avoid singlehood, only to break up after the holidays.
- A survey conducted by the dating app Happn found that 75% of sledgers split up in November, with the remaining 25% doing so post-holidays, highlighting its prevalence among younger individuals.
- The seasonal affective disorder (SAD) sufferer may find the emotional distress of a breakup during winter months even more intense due to reduced sunlight exposure and feelings of hopelessness, making it crucial to practice self-care and seek support.
- Mark Travers, a mental health professional, emphasizes the importance of honesty, respect, and prompt communication in navigating breakups, suggesting these principles help prevent additional pain and ensure a smoother transition for all parties involved.
- After being sledged or experiencing a breakup, it's essential to prioritize self-care, engage in joyful activities, and surround oneself with supportive others, reminding oneself that each ending prepares the way for new beginnings and warmer seasons ahead.
